It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
