when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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