butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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