does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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