Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
