My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
