me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
