When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
