Got a toothbrush?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
