yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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