This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
