just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
