sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
