There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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