so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
