thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
