the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize