Texts From Last Night

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  (469): View more from Texas

  HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...

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  (469): HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers... http://tfl.nu/21iq
  Replies (12) Good night (779) Bad night (3042)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.

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  (248): Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win. http://tfl.nu/almv
  Replies (47) Good night (22473) Bad night (1171)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation

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  (717): this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation http://tfl.nu/knkc
  Replies (12) Good night (2499) Bad night (3250)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?

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  (740): So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot? http://tfl.nu/xzhr
  Replies (16) Good night (4513) Bad night (957)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...

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  (519): Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm... http://tfl.nu/v0t6
  Replies (21) Good night (1199) Bad night (7838)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children

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  (312): please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children http://tfl.nu/5h1t
  Replies (8) Good night (1898) Bad night (810)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...

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  (917): The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline... http://tfl.nu/p4q2
  Replies (1) Good night (2293) Bad night (1006)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  the wall and i were having dominance issues.

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  (614): the wall and i were having dominance issues. http://tfl.nu/itlm
  Replies (7) Good night (2609) Bad night (1950)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.

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  (225): I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up. http://tfl.nu/8v67
  Replies (6) Good night (1484) Bad night (1098)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches

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  (248): We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches http://tfl.nu/48qq
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (490)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him

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  (413): New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him http://tfl.nu/45u3
  Replies (5) Good night (707) Bad night (375)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.

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  (360): I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box. http://tfl.nu/hoaw
  Replies (2) Good night (1214) Bad night (371)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online

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  (315): I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online http://tfl.nu/2eyx
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (719)
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  (714): View more from California

  I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.

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  (714): I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too. http://tfl.nu/il0e
  Replies (2) Good night (650) Bad night (296)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.

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  (203): I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now. http://tfl.nu/z6cp
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (464)

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