She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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