I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.