Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar

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  (516): I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar http://tfl.nu/ulgt
  Replies (27) Good night (2969) Bad night (568)
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  (559): View more from California

  i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...

  (559): View more from California

  ...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!

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  (559): i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers... (559): ...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win! http://tfl.nu/147d
  Replies (29) Good night (7172) Bad night (995)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it

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  (360): my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it http://tfl.nu/8lil
  Replies (12) Good night (4833) Bad night (1001)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...

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  (814): Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major... http://tfl.nu/yhqh
  Replies (9) Good night (2780) Bad night (1226)
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  (510): View more from California

  Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.

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  (510): Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today. http://tfl.nu/bpyv
  Replies (5) Good night (1038) Bad night (2068)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning

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  (519): we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/bwa3
  Replies (9) Good night (4235) Bad night (1017)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)

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  (703): So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:) http://tfl.nu/uwez
  Replies (7) Good night (2076) Bad night (941)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.

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  (541): I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed. http://tfl.nu/aml6
  Replies (14) Good night (778) Bad night (1512)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.

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  (251): Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now. http://tfl.nu/uhhh
  Replies (7) Good night (1047) Bad night (3064)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!

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  (631): I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving! http://tfl.nu/q0d4
  Replies (3) Good night (1224) Bad night (495)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina

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  (204): That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina http://tfl.nu/e6cy
  Replies (6) Good night (1005) Bad night (459)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.

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  (210): Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often. http://tfl.nu/cowe
  Replies (14) Good night (1009) Bad night (467)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.

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  (773): And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything. http://tfl.nu/s3ep
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (277)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...

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  (913): my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball... http://tfl.nu/m00r
  Replies (0) Good night (336) Bad night (192)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS

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  (719): YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS http://tfl.nu/s3ez
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (205)

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