he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.