420 ftw
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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