that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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