I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Someone shattered a urinal.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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