I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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