This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This show inspires me to have sex in space
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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