im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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