just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
