Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
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just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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