I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
