i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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