Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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