that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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