is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
