Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
