It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize