Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
