I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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