So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i may or may not be watching the land before time
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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