Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
