Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
