Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
