Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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