wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
