that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
