yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
