OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize