I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
