I want to make a zoo with you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
