You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
