is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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