I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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