you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
A bitchslap is in order.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
