So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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