Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before http://tfl.nu/2m53
  Replies (45) Good night (636) Bad night (4892)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in http://tfl.nu/7n77
  Replies (31) Good night (4585) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink http://tfl.nu/5oo7
  Replies (17) Good night (3447) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me. http://tfl.nu/pldx
  Replies (14) Good night (2642) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people? http://tfl.nu/km81
  Replies (9) Good night (1006) Bad night (3263)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once. http://tfl.nu/besu
  Replies (17) Good night (1817) Bad night (3001)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end. http://tfl.nu/kio4
  Replies (21) Good night (2765) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone http://tfl.nu/kic6
  Replies (16) Good night (3669) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you. (270): No, that's okay. Don't worry about it. (618): Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway. http://tfl.nu/gcov
  Replies (45) Good night (3594) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me. http://tfl.nu/ym25
  Replies (9) Good night (900) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/y1zp
  Replies (15) Good night (1555) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso. http://tfl.nu/q5xa
  Replies (2) Good night (1012) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer. http://tfl.nu/mo8a
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen? http://tfl.nu/ijzr
  Replies (3) Good night (1043) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch! http://tfl.nu/w5ox
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (269)

Randomize