So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
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I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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