Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances

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(407): He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances http://tfl.nu/rv67

Replies (50) Good night (713) Bad night (3914)
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(628): View more from California

i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me

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(628): i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me http://tfl.nu/vt02

Replies (40) Good night (2099) Bad night (4728)
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(818): View more from California

remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

(702): View more from Nevada

Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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(818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx

Replies (116) Good night (6463) Bad night (12135)
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(360): View more from Washington

He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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(360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x

Replies (63) Good night (5562) Bad night (960)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.

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(484): She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that. http://tfl.nu/ceu5

Replies (24) Good night (4417) Bad night (1291)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.

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(612): i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning. http://tfl.nu/nqu5

Replies (17) Good night (3482) Bad night (987)
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(845): View more from New York

Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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(845): Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight. http://tfl.nu/mc2w

Replies (2) Good night (2013) Bad night (756)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."

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(651): She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name." http://tfl.nu/v79x

Replies (16) Good night (4212) Bad night (664)
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(914): View more from New York

My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?

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(914): My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis? http://tfl.nu/29es

Replies (14) Good night (428) Bad night (1639)
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(773): View more from Illinois

You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time

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(773): You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING (1-773): Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time http://tfl.nu/yjp9

Replies (7) Good night (2377) Bad night (515)
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(407): View more from Florida

More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out

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(407): More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out http://tfl.nu/4y5s

Replies (4) Good night (472) Bad night (846)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell

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(215): There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell http://tfl.nu/i2t1

Replies (10) Good night (1708) Bad night (570)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.

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(513): I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point. http://tfl.nu/23a6

Replies (2) Good night (250) Bad night (598)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.

(985): View more from Louisiana

its good to be home.

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(985): drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye. (985): its good to be home. http://tfl.nu/5qd5

Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (214)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.

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(202): I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll. http://tfl.nu/zni7

Replies (6) Good night (629) Bad night (234)

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