'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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