your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.