How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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