Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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