who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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