Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
