false alarm. still invincible.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
