I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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