I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
