We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize